Always There: Christian Inspirational Romance Page 4

  Their friendship had only strengthened every year - well except for junior year when they had a pretty major fall out. She thought she’d never forgive him. She felt so betrayed.

  Sure, she had never verbally told him that she had long ago fallen in love with him - her best friend. But she was certain he had to know. Certainly boys couldn’t be that dense, right?

  She also knew that he wanted her friendship way more than he wanted anything else from her. As high school had gone on, their friendship had only deepened, and sometimes she wished he would be a “regular” boy and try something “fresh” with her. Kiss her? Caress her cheek? Something…. Anything…

  Of course, these thoughts directly conflicted with everything she knew to be right and godly. She was very involved in her church and youth group, and she knew what her mother thought about dating and pre-marital sex. But one kiss would have been amazing to her. She was sure it would have held her over for an eternity. But alas, it was never to be.

  Instead, he broke her heart in junior year. In all fairness, he didn’t mean to. He was a guy. Full of testosterone. Desperate for female attention.

  No one was interested in Ben. He was short and shy and quiet. And Elise had to admit that she loved the fact that no girls were after him. He was all hers, even if it was just in friendship. But when summer ended and he came back for junior year, everything had changed. He had grown at least three inches and bulked up for his new sports activity - wrestling. And the girls noticed - big time.

  They were all over him, and shy as he was, he seemed to be enjoying it. Elise tried to ignore it. After all, she had some male suitors of her own. She had been on a few dates here and there, but no one compared to her best friend. All of her free time was reserved for hanging out with him. She went to every wrestling meet, whether in town or out of town. She had a car now, so she took him everywhere she could since his family couldn’t afford to buy him a car.

  His father never attended any of his wrestling events, but she came to them all bringing snacks for him and his team. She did everything she could to make him feel good about himself. If she had been honest with herself, she did everything she could to love him from afar. And, maybe she was doing everything she could to make him fall in love with her too.

  Then it happened. He thought she couldn’t see him in the hallway, but she had left class a little early to use the restroom. There he was, in the hallway by his locker with her arch nemesis - Tiffany Sellers. Over the years, Tiffany had only gotten prettier and perkier. She had white blond hair, the perfect ponytail, a stunning figure and a star spot on the cheerleading team. She was class president, homecoming queen and would likely be named “hottest girl in the universe” any day now.

  And she was kissing Ben. Elise’s Ben.

  Elise froze in the stairwell by the row of lockers and stared. Tiffany finished her business with Ben and walked down the hallway out of sight. Elise still didn’t move. Ben looked up, face still flush from the passionate kiss, and caught her gaze. She could tell by the look on his face that he immediately knew she was enraged.

  “Elise, I…” he started to say as he held up his hands trying to show his innocence. How was he innocent?

  Elise walked slowly toward him as he backed against his locker. He was taller than she was now, but it didn’t matter. He knew to be a little scared of her.

  “Tiffany Sellers? Really?” she asked, almost nose to nose with him.

  “Elise, I wanted to tell you. I did. But I knew this is how you’d react…”

  “How long has this been going on?” she asked.

  “Elise, come on…”

  “Ben, how long?” she asked, trying desperately to hold back her tears.

  “Two weeks,” he said looking down at his shoes.

  “Are you crazy? You know what kind of person she is!”

  “You’re being so judgmental, Elise! You hardly know her. Give her a chance!”

  Elise was fuming at this point. She couldn’t believe he’d betrayed her with Tiffany. But had he? They weren’t dating; they were just friends. She knew logically that she was being a little crazy, but hadn’t they always vowed to shun people like Tiffany? Stuck up people? And, frankly, slutty girls?

  It was at that point that she realized the attraction to Tiffany. Oh, God, please no.

  “Ben, have you slept with her?” she asked quietly without making eye contact. It took every ounce of control she had to even ask such a question.

  “Elise…”

  “Answer me. Give me that much respect,” she said, seething more than any good Christian girl should have. There was a long moment of silence. When she finally got up the courage to make eye contact, he sighed and looked down. “You slept with her? Ben, why? I thought we were in agreement about saving ourselves for marriage or at least for someone we loved…”

  “We never agreed to anything! That’s your youth group talking, not me. This is high school, Elise. Come on. I’m a guy, and she’s a beautiful girl. What’s so wrong with having fun?” She just stared at him in shock.

  “Who are you?” she yelled as she shoved him into his locker with such force that he almost fell down. “I don’t even know you!” She backed up, one stray tear rolling down her cheek, and pointed her finger at him. “She’s going to chew you up and spit you out, and don’t you come running to me when she does!”

  And she did, of course. It wasn’t two weeks later that Tiffany moved on to the next boy when she decided to stop “slumming”, as she put it, with Ben. Elise heard through the grapevine and then saw him walking the long three miles home one afternoon after school. She pulled her small red car to the side of the road in front of him and got out. He stopped in his tracks and looked at her, and she slowly walked across the gravel shoulder of the road toward him, stopping about five feet in front of him.

  “Need a ride?” she asked softly as a small smile crept across her face.

  “She chewed me up and spit me out, Elise,” he said, and she swore his eyes filled with tears.

  “I heard.”

  “Aren’t you going to say ‘I told you so’?” he asked.

  “Nope. Now, come on. I’ve got some frozen pizzas at my house. You can tell me all about how horrible she really is,” she said winking at him as she grabbed his backpack from the ground and headed for her car. “Come on, slow poke!” she yelled back as she tossed it in the backseat.

  And, with that, they went on with their friendship like nothing ever happened. There was no use in trying to stay angry at him. It had been the hardest two weeks of her life, except for when she lost her father, of course. Being without Ben wasn’t an option, she had decided, so she might as well accept whatever women he chose along the way if she planned to be in his life.

  Elise was jarred from her walk down memory lane by her ringing cell phone. It sounded so loud as it echoed around the almost empty house.

  “Hello?”

  “Just calling to say goodnight, Mommy!” Jilly said from the other end. It was after ten o’clock, yet she still had all the pep of a kid who was hopped up on candy and caffeine.

  “Good night, sweetie. I’ll see you in the morning, okay? And we can start our big adventure!” Elise wanted to be excited. She really did, but the loss of her beloved husband coupled with the memories of losing her best friend too were almost too much for one evening.

  After hanging up with Jilly, she finally got around to reading page 108 again after all those years.

  Dear Elise,

  We’ve been through so much together together, and through it all you’ve been my best friend. I just want you to know that I will always love you so much for accepting me for who I am and being there. We will always be together, you and me. Nothing will ever change that.

  Ben

  It was short and sweet and classic Ben. The “love” word had caught her off guard, though, because he’d never said it to her. And she knew he didn’t say it lightly. For a moment, she had allowed it to give her hope that
they might be turning the corner into a relationship, but it wasn’t to be. They were friends. They were in the dreaded friend zone, and she had to accept that. High school was over, and she had big college plans. She couldn’t spend her time pining for her best friend. After all, there was a big, bright future out there and she planned to make the most of it.

  She had already been accepted into Journalism school, and Ben had gotten a wrestling scholarship. He was going to become a graphic designer. They would be states apart at college, but she never really thought about what that might do to their relationship. She never believed their relationship would end. Abruptly. Without warning or explanation.

  In fact, out of all of the things in her life that had happened, Ben dumping her and disappearing from her life had never occurred to her. She’d stood by him for years, and she just knew he would always be there for her too. He said so in her yearbook. They would grow old together, even as friends, she always thought. They would raise families together, grow old in a nursing home eating frozen pizza and watching TV talk shows. But it didn’t happen that way. Life took a turn, as it often did, and she was left wondering what happened.

  Elise sat the yearbook down on the countertop and examined the stack of letters in her lap. Did she really want to do this? Dig back into the past and get caught in a swell of emotions?

  Then she decided that this was a new start. This was her chance to read them one more time, put them back in the box, stick them in a storage unit and start her life over. It was closure, she convinced herself. She needed the closure.

  She opened the first of the letters which appeared to be from Ben’s first week at college. His letters were always so unique. As a budding artist, he drew pictures all over them, even going as far as drawing her an entire diagram of his campus and where his classes were. He cracked her up.

  Dear Elise,

  Wow, we’re in college. Can you believe that? I can’t believe I’m two hours away from you now, but don’t worry. I will come home every weekend so we can go out dancing. I miss seeing you everyday, but here’s a picture of a cat doing yoga to make you laugh…

  Love, Ben

  As if on cue, Elise laughed looking at the crazy drawing. The old feelings she got every time she saw one of his letters in the mailbox came rolling back, and she was tempted to scrap her idea of reading his other letters. But she continued.

  The letters got less and less, although he did come home a few times that first year. They would go dancing at a local bar, although Elise never drank a drop. He would drink a few beers, and she didn’t begrudge him that. It seemed a normal thing to do for college students even though he wasn’t of age yet.

  But then those visits home became less and less. When his father died in his sophomore year of college, he came home even less. Elise could feel him pulling away from her, but she didn’t understand why. And then one day she got what would be her final letter from him. She didn’t know it was her final letter, of course. Had she known, maybe she could have done something. Maybe not. She didn’t understand how he could have forgotten her, moved on with his life without his best friend.

  Her mother kept telling her there was a season for everything and everyone in life. Some people were meant to get us through certain seasons, but they were then meant to move on. That was a hard pill to swallow for Elise.

  She opened up the last letter she would receive, wondering if age and experience would allow her to see the signs that he was ending their friendship. But, as with every other time she’d read it in the past, she saw no warning signals. No flares shooting up from the paper to let her know that she was overstaying her welcome as his best friend.

  Dear Elise,

  Congratulations on your internship at the TV station! I am so proud of you. I know your big dream of being a Journalist is going to come true, and I can say I knew you “when”.

  I met a girl here at college, and we’ve gone out a few times. Her name is Cat. I know, crazy name, but she’s nice and we have fun together. In some ways, she reminds me of you.

  Well, gotta go. I have an exam to study for. Talk soon.

  Ben

  And there it was. Something she hadn’t noticed before now. He didn’t write “Love, Ben”. He just wrote “Ben”.

  Chapter 4

  Streams of sunlight broke through the plantation shutters, and Elise shielded her eyes. Where was she? Oh, that’s right, she thought. She’d stayed up so late going through the attic that she had fallen asleep in her grandmother’s rocking chair beside the window. From the looks of it, it was mid morning and she had overslept. Sandy must have been wondering why she hadn’t called or come to pick up Jilly.

  She reached into her pocket and dug out her cell phone. Dialing Sandy, she rubbed her right eye and struggled to focus in the darkened attic space.

  “Sandy? Hi. So sorry, I overslept. Is Jilly okay?”

  “Of course. We just finished blueberry pancakes. You’re welcome to come over and have some too,” Sandy said, the sound of her rambunctious boys overpowering the background noise.

  “It’s okay. I’m not really hungry yet, and I have to meet the movers to start taking boxes to the storage unit in about two hours.”

  Sandy offered to keep Jilly with her for a few more hours while Elise focused on getting the boxes and furniture she was keeping moved to the storage unit. She had given a lot to the local thrift store and donated some to needy families she learned about through her church. It was hard giving up the bedroom furniture she’d shared with Ted, but she couldn’t take it in the RV with her and Ted would have wanted her to share their wealth with others who were less fortunate. He was just that kind of man. A good man. A steady force in her life for ten years. A wonderful father and friend and Christian. And yet she’d spent the last night thinking about Ben. What kind of person did that make her?

  A human, her conscience urged.

  ***

  The next couple of days went by in a flash as Elise had her things moved into storage and the home was officially foreclosed. The reality was that it was no longer her home. As she stood with Jilly and Sandy in her now empty living room, reality set in. She had no home. She had an RV. A big, rolling house on wheels that she knew very little about. Oh, Lord, what had she gotten herself into? And if she was so terrified, why did it still feel like the right thing to do?

  “Well, I guess this is it,” she said looking at Sandy as she reached out and grabbed both of her hands. “I’m going to miss seeing you everyday.”

  “I’m going to miss you too. You’re my best friend!” Sandy said as she pulled her into a hug. Best friend? For most of her younger years, she’d believed someone else would always have that role in her life. “And I’m going to miss you too, Jilly Bug!” she said as she scooped the girl into their hug too.

  An hour later, it was over. Elise found herself sitting behind the wheel of what could only be described as a fancy big rig. What had Ted been thinking when he bought this thing? Boys and their toys, she thought to herself and smiled. Ted always wanted the latest and greatest. He had to have the biggest and best of everything. He shared and tithed and gave to others, so she supposed it all balanced out in the end. Balancing her good memories of him and the memory of him abandoning his family was difficult.

  “Mommy, where are we going?” Jilly asked after a few moments of watching her mother sit behind the wheel of the thirty-nine foot motorhome. Elise had lost track of time sitting in the parking lot of the self storage place. Thankfully, one of the guys who worked there helped her hook her small, compact car to the back of the motorhome, although that made it even longer and more challenging to drive.

  “Well, I’m not quite sure just yet, honey. I’m thinking about that right now. Why don’t you go sit on the sofa and watch a movie? It’s all set up for you,” she said pointing back at the living room area.

  “Okay,” Jilly said sighing, obviously not happy with her mother’s answer.

  Lord, please guide my steps. Pleas
e lead me where you want me to go.

  Elise had, of course, made some plans on where they would stay as they traveled up the Eastern seaboard, but she was second guessing every choice she’d made. They only had about eight hours until dark, and she needed to travel somewhere and have time to get set up before nightfall. Suddenly, the weight of being alone was getting to her. She was solely responsible for her daughter and herself on this trip, and the feeling of responsibility was a bit overwhelming.

  After Ted’s death and the stunning news of their financial situation, Elise had weighed her options. She could have taken what little money she had in savings and gotten a crummy apartment in town, but that thought did not appeal to her. Jilly would have been in questionable schools, and bars on the windows were not her thing.