Always There: Christian Inspirational Romance Read online

  “Fair enough,” she said. “So, what do you do for a living?” Ah, good. A change of subject, Elise thought. That was, until she realized that she had no good answer for that either.

  “Well, nothing at the moment. I have a Journalism degree, but I left that field long ago. I had a bit in savings so that Jilly and I could start over by taking this trip in the RV…”

  “Well, honey, you’d better start thinking ahead about how you’ll keep funding your life. I mean, gas in these things gets a bit pricey!” Barb said with a laugh. “Ours costs over four hundred dollars to fill up!”

  “Four hundred dollars?” Elise said over the major lump in her throat. “Wow. I didn’t realize. Ted filled it up before he….” She couldn’t finish that sentence.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart. I just remember how lost I was when my first husband died. Preparation will keep the anxiety away.”

  Elise knew she was right, and she missed having her mother and grandmother around to give her that kind of advice. Women were that way. They knew how to cut right to the chase when times were tough, and like it or not, times were tough right now.

  She thought for a moment about how she would support the two of them. Maybe she should get a longterm lease in the campground and try to get a job in the area. But who would keep Jilly? She loved Barb and Dave, but she didn’t know them all that well, so leaving her child with two strangers for an extended period was not an option.

  Then it hit her. She had always enjoyed yard sales and thrift stores, so maybe she could sell some things online. Sandy had been an online auction fanatic, so she knew a thing or two about buying and reselling. She could take a small part of her savings and start snowballing it to earn extra income.

  “Barb, do you know if there are any thrift stores around here?” Although they were near Wilmington, the campground was actually about twenty minutes outside of there in a tiny coastal town called Seaview.

  “Oh, of course! There are two just outside of Seaview and another as you get into Wilmington. I can write out directions if you’d like.”

  “That would be great. I think I’ll go do a little scouting around tomorrow. Get familiar with my new surroundings,” Elise said. For the first time in months, she was looking forward. Calmness enveloped her, and she somehow knew everything was going to be alright. Maybe God was covering her in peace, she thought to herself.

  “Oh my, I am getting quite tired,” Barb said through a yawn.

  “Don’t let me keep you up. I’ll just wait for them to get back and then we’re going to hit the sack ourselves,” Elise said. With that, Barb slowly stood, her dyed blond locks shining in the moonlight. Elise could tell that Barb had been a beautiful woman in her day. She still had evident curves, a short trendy bob in her hair and was a bit heavy handed with her makeup. Her clothes were flashy too which reminded Elise of her grandmother. Mamaw always did like a little “dazzle” in her clothing, as she called it.

  “Good night, Elise,” Barb said with a tired smile as she disappeared around the other side of the large motorhome. Elise sat for a few moments more, taking in the peaceful tranquility of the quiet campground. She could hear ocean waves in the distance mixed with the sounds of crickets in the bushes nearby. She’d forgotten how much she missed that small town life feeling, and for the first time in a long time she felt somewhat calm.

  The peace and quiet was quickly gone as she could hear Jilly and Dave approaching back up the street. Her daughter had all the spunk and outgoing nature that her little body could hold, and sometimes it was more than Elise thought she could handle alone. Alone. There was that word again.

  “Well, she’s all full of ice cream. Might take her awhile to fall asleep tonight,” Dave said with a chuckle as he watched Jilly bounce around with an ice cream cone in one hand and a bunch of chocolate syrup on her cheek.

  “Mommy, they had everything! Chocolate sprinkles, gummy bears, caramel….” She went on and on, not really caring if anyone was listening to her as she twirled in a circle eating her sweet treat.

  “Thank you for taking her, Dave. I really appreciate it. She needs that fun time, and lately I don’t think I’ve been the most fun mom she could have,” she said without thinking.

  “Well, life is a series of ups and downs, Elise. Some days you’re up, other days you’re down. As long as you always land back in the middle, you’re doing good. Take it from me, an old fogey… Life goes on. The days pass whether they’re good days or bad days. You just have to choose whether they’re good or bad. It’s all in your perspective, my dear.” He winked at her and yawned shortly thereafter. “See? Old fogey syndrome is setting in. I assume Barb went to bed?”

  “Yes, just a bit ago.”

  A worried look briefly clouded his face, but he quickly recovered and bent down to Jilly. “Thanks for being my ice cream date, Miss Jilly. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said poking her in the stomach.

  “Good night, Dave. Thanks again…” Elise called as they approached their motorhome and climbed inside. She watched him look up at the stars for a moment before rounding the corner to his own RV. It looked like he said something to the stars, or maybe God, before going inside, and Elise wondered what that was. Then she remembered her mother chiding her about not being nosy and she brushed the thought aside.

  Chapter 6

  The next morning, Elise awoke, rubbing her eyes and trying to remember where she was. This was definitely going to take some getting used to, being in a new place all the time. She was accustomed to waking up in her brightly sunlit bedroom with the sound of birds outside of her window having breakfast in a nearby feeder. Now, she awoke to silence largely, but also to the light snoring of her daughter lying next to her.

  Jilly had been on a sugar high after her ice cream date with Dave the night before. Getting her to sleep in new surroundings while she was jacked up on sugar had proven to be quite difficult. After what seemed like hours of Disney movies in their small RV bedroom, Jilly had finally tuckered out and fell asleep with her clothes on.

  Elise quietly got of bed, slipped on her robe and headed for the tiny motorhome kitchen where she would start her morning coffee routine. She could see out the window over the sink that the other campers were already up and about, so she looked down to check the clock that sat on the countertop. It was almost 9 AM. She couldn’t believe they had slept so late, but she was so emotionally drained from the trip and all of the changes that she probably needed the extra sleep anyway.

  People were already riding their bikes up and down the path, possibly heading to the beach. Maybe she should take her daughter to the beach for the day, she thought. But then reality set in. She knew she only had a certain amount of money to get them started in their new life. She was going to have to do something to make ends meet even while they were on the road.

  Her friend Sandy had told her one time that she knew people who sold things online and made great incomes. She and Jilly didn’t need that much, just the occasional fill up with gas and necessities. Food was the primary concern, and of course renting the lot where they parked their RV.

  Her idea was to go to some local thrift shops and find something she could resell. Of course, she didn’t know much about how to do that, so she would spend the morning looking on Google and trying to figure out what were the best things to buy.

  In her heart, she was a little bit resentful of Ted. He had left her with all of these new worries. Not only had he left her a widow, but he had left her daughter fatherless. He had left her to worry about all of his financial misdeeds. He had left her to worry about paying for Jilly’s college one day. He had left her to worry about handling health insurance and vehicle insurance and all of the other monotonous things that life hands us.

  She had loved him with her whole heart, and yet now she believed he hadn’t felt the same. How could he? If someone loves you, they don’t leave you willingly and he did. He willingly swallowed those pills knowing exactly what he was doing. She wond
ered why God didn’t give her a sign. Just a hint as to what her husband was about to do.

  Elise found her mind going to dark places more often. Just after Ted died, she was far too wrapped up in the shock and sorrow of it all. Then came the time where she just focused on her daughter and tried to block out anything else related to how he had taken his life. But now, in the quiet of a small motor home, she had nothing left to distract herself. Her focus was becoming dark because she hadn’t dealt with her own feelings. She had only dealt with the here and now, exactly what she had to do each day. She had taken it one step at a time and now she felt lost in the middle of a very dry desert.

  Everyone told her to take it day by day, not to think too much about it. They say time heals all wounds, but her wound was still gaping and open. And now she was more alone than she’d ever been. No friends around her. Family long gone. Just her daughter. She couldn’t rely on her daughter. Jilly deserved a normal childhood, and she was bound and determined that her daughter wouldn’t suffer even more for what her father had done.

  When the coffee finished brewing, Elise put in her normal gobs of sugar and cream before sitting down at the small breakfast table. Thankfully, it had a large window, and she could see out in the distance the beautiful ocean flowing in and out of the shore. Something about the ocean gave her some semblance of peace. The steadiness of it maybe? The absolute certainty that the water would flow in and out all day long. The ocean didn’t change, and that made her feel peaceful for a few moments. Something told her to go to the ocean even though she’d never lived near the ocean in her life. It just seemed like the place to go to find her center again.

  She pulled out her iPad and started the Google search about what to sell online. There were so many choices that it almost blew her mind, but she decided to start with some clothing and maybe a few small collectibles. The reality was that her storage space was limited, so she couldn’t sell things that would take up a lot of room. She and Jilly had to make the most of what they had in the motorhome, so she would have to make careful choices and not spend her money foolishly when she went to the thrift store.

  As she thought, her cell phone interrupted the quiet peacefulness of the morning. She quickly reached across the counter to grab it from where it had been charging all night, hoping that the shrill ring of it didn’t wake up her daughter.

  “Hello?” she said through a forced whisper.

  “Elise? Is everything okay?” The sound of Sandy’s voice was a welcome break in the morning.

  “Oh, Sandy. Yes, of course, everything’s fine. Why do you ask?”

  “You had me so worried! I’ve been calling you since dinnertime last night. I wanted to make sure that you guys made it there safely but you didn’t answer your phone.”

  “I’m so sorry. I forgot to charge my phone last night. We had dinner with some of camping neighbors and then Jilly was bouncing off the walls…”

  “It’s okay. I was just worried about you.” She could tell that Sandy was a little ticked off with her but was afraid to say so. Everyone tiptoed around Elise, and sometimes that got irritating.

  “No, it’s not okay. I’ll make sure to keep my phone charged from now on. Yesterday, I just had a lot to take in. I had a hard time setting up the motor home, met new people… I just wasn’t thinking clearly. But, I got a good night of sleep and Jilly is still asleep, so today is a new day.” Elise was trying to sound peppy and upbeat, but her friend knew it was a front.

  “What’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing because I know you better than that.”

  “My whole life changed overnight a few months ago, and that just happened again.” Elise was shocked at her own admission because she wasn’t normally an outwardly emotional person. She had been raised to just get on with it even when times were tough.

  “I can’t say I understand what you’re going through because I don’t, but I hope you know I’m here if you need me. You just say the word and I’m on my way there.”

  “Sandy, that means more to me than you’ll ever know but I can’t do that. I’ve got to learn how to make it on my own even though it was forced upon me. I’m Jilly’s mother, and we need this time to build our new life whatever that may be.” Elise felt a stray tear rolling down her cheek, but she wiped it away and refused to give into it today. She didn’t have time for that.

  “So, what are your plans for today?” Sandy asked.

  “Well, I’m already thinking about what I need to do to earn enough income to keep us afloat. I’m thinking about trying to sell some things online that I buy at thrift stores. You know, like your friend Nancy does?”

  “Oh yes, that’s a great idea! She makes a really good income doing that. You know, she’s a single mother of three kids, so if she can do it, you can do it.”

  “Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. I think you gave me her email address a few months ago, so I might drop her a line if I have any questions.”

  “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind answering questions at all. I’ll give her a heads up that you might be contacting her.” Sandy was always there to lend a helping hand, and Elise appreciated it even though she was hundreds of miles away now. Loneliness started to seep into her heart again, but she took a deep breath. She spent the next few minutes giving Sandy her exact location just in case any stray mail or packages came to her old address.

  “Well, I better let you go now. I need to wake Jilly up and feed her breakfast so we can get on the road. Wish me luck!”

  “Good luck!” Sandy said before they ended the call.

  Elise hung up the phone and took a deep breath before finishing her coffee. She knew it was going to be a long day, but hopefully a productive one. Even though she had gone through college and had worked as a journalist for a short time, she’d often relied on Ted to take care of all of their financial affairs. This would be new for her, and she was a little trepidatious about it.

  In one way, she was excited to stand on her own two feet for once. Relying on Ted had proven, in the end, to be a bad idea. She hated those moments when she questioned whether she ever really knew him at all. It was like she was questioning her entire existence. Questioning her ability to choose a man, her ability to be a wife and even her ability to be a good mother.

  When she stood back and looked at her situation, she wondered what she would do if she were another person. How would she look at herself? Would she feel sorry for a woman who had lost her husband in such a way? Or would she have just a hint of judgment about how the woman couldn’t see the signs and stop it?

  Her mother had always tried to teach her not to judge others, but it was hard. She was judging herself very harshly and she wondered how others felt. She even wondered what her own best friend, Sandy, really thought about the situation. Was she just being nice because Elise had lost her husband? Did she really think that Elise was stupid or naïve?

  It seemed like Ted’s death had led to only more questions. She didn’t have any answers really. She just walked around all day with a head full of questions, and it was exhausting.

  Realizing she was spiraling downward into negativity yet again, she decided to get Jilly up and hit the road.

  ***

  It took over an hour to get Jilly awake, dressed and fed before they could leave. Thankfully, Dave had helped her unhook her car the night before, so she was able to jump in the small coupe and head for the first store.

  “Mommy, I don’t understand why we have to go shopping. I hate shopping!” Jilly lamented as they pulled out of the campground. It didn’t help that they had to pass the beach, and Jilly wanted to spend as much time as possible at the beach. Elise could understand that as Jilly had never really seen the ocean, but some things had to take precedence. Life couldn’t always be fun and games, she recalled her mother saying when she was a child.

  “Honey, I’ve explained this. We’re going to a special store called a thrift store. That’s where people take things that they no longer want or need. We’re going
to shop for things that we can sell on the computer to make extra money to do more fun stuff on our trip,” Elise said, trying to make the explanation more palatable to an eight-year-old.

  “But that sounds really boring!” Jilly said through an extended whimper. Elise couldn’t blame her. In all reality, the thought of going through someone else’s used stuff gave her the heebie-jeebies, but it was something she had to do. They no longer had a home, and she couldn’t get a regular job right now while Jilly was out of school. Everything happened so fast with the foreclosure and the financial problems that Elise didn’t really have time to make a good plan. So she had made the only plan she knew to make at the time.

  “Life isn’t always fun in games, sweetheart,” Elise found herself saying. Sometimes it was like she had climbed inside of her mother’s body and was speaking her words.

  Thankfully, Jilly became distracted by a game on her iPad and was quiet for most of the trip. She didn’t even look out the window as they passed a local water park, and Elise was thankful for that. Within about 20 minutes, they pulled up at the first thrift store.